It’s mid-January, so you know what that must mean: The Miami Dolphins are done playing football. Other teams are still playing, but the Miami Dolphins – as usual – are not one of those teams.
Entering the 17th week, the Dolphins only needed a win against Buffalo or a defeat by any of the other three teams to win a place in the playoffs. Unfortunately, none of these things happened. For a team that hasn’t won a playoff since 2000, and has only scored a few times in the postseason since Dan Marino retired in 1999, the ways the Dolphins continue to miss the playoffs have become comical and perhaps depressing.
Dolphin lovers are used to it. From January to July, the dolphin dead zone is known.
For fans who are feeling the pain of a cold turkey, we’ve put together a list of ten things to do until the games turn up this fall.
Kill time at work playing the general manager of Dolphins. You’ve heard of fake drafts where other people are trying to predict which teams to pick in the upcoming NFL draft, right? And you definitely participated in the fantasy draft.
Now imagine if those two things had a sporty baby. That’s it ProFootballNetwork Mock Draft Simulator. Prepare to lose hours of your life because of this black hole of fun on the Internet.
This year, the site has added a feature where other teams can suggest a craft to you. Like it’s real! Make a few, tweet screenshots and in four years tell everyone, with proof, that you are better at judging players better than Dolphin.
Immerse yourself in rumors about the Deshaun Watson store. There is more than zero chance that the Miami Dolphins will trade Tua Tagovailoa this season. If you had told me I was going to write that sentence two weeks ago, I would have said you have to have that VIP medical card with marijuana that takes you to the back closet. The issues, however, have changed and suddenly the quarterback who led the league in passing this season is not only available but was rumored to be considering forcing trade on the Dolphins.
Can this happen? Who knows. All I know is that I can’t remember the last time a player voluntarily declared his desire to reach the Dolphin, without money being the main motivating factor. Immerse him. This may not happen again.
Shit about the Senior Bowl. The Senior bowl takes place on January 30, and the Miami Dolphins have accepted the task of coaching one of the teams. This is great news, because whenever a team manages to coach a game, it’s a big advantage when it enters the draft.
Phins fans don’t have a lot of work to do over the next eight months, so you could take advantage of the Dolphin coaches who are still coaching football on your TV in late January.
Check out the highlights of DeVont Smith’s Miami Dolphins Hall of Fame wide receiver. If you’ve watched a National College Championship game Monday night, you know Alabama’s wide receiver DeVonta Smith is that guy. Smith finished the game with 12 catches for 215 yards and three touches and was declared the offensive MVP of the game. It’s a pretty good game, especially considering he did it all in the first half – Smith left the game after injuring his hand in the first game of the second half.
Dolphins need weapons for Tua, and very much so. They don’t get much better than DeVonte Smith who graduated from college.
Spend at least a week just laughing at the New York Jets. Why does everyone feel better when they miss the playoffs? Laughter to the coaching quest of the New York Jets and the overall operation, that’s what. The Jets will provide us with high comedy this season. We know this because they do it.
The Jets need a new coach, and they have a second choice for draft number two. They can’t possibly go as bad as when they hired Adam Gase, but we’ll have fun watching them try.
Stalk Tua Tagovailoa on social media for off-season updates. If the Dolphins don’t end up trading for Deshaun Watson, Tua Tagovailoa is a man with a plan in hand. The fate of the Dolphins depends on whether Tua Tagovailo will ultimately look elite, like Russell Wilson, or just a middle quarterback.
Tua is finally having a season that doesn’t include hip gluing and this year won’t be as limited to COVID as last year. Lurking his social media searching for how much he’s trying to be better, all Dolphin fans have had him for months.
Are the dolphins re-signing Ryan Fitzpatrick? The answer to this question – for all our common sense – should be no. Tua doesn’t need Ryan Fitzpatrick to look him over the shoulder again in 2021. He doesn’t need Fitzpatrick to teach him anything the quarterback coach, head coach or any other teammate could inform about him.
Fitzpatrick nearly cost Dolphins Tu in the draft, and he did nothing but harm the growth of the young quarterback in 2020. See if the Dolphins continue to make the mistake of keeping Fitzpatrick around next season.
Carefully monitor which free NFL agents are available. Dolphins need offensive weapons and should be able to afford one or two good players if all things stay the same. (See: If they don’t trade for Watson.) Here’s a nice list from all NFL free agents this summer.
Use it. Study it. Make it a part of your life. That’s all we have at the moment.
Candidate for potential coordinator of offensive dolphins from the market. Anthony Lynn among recent former head coaches with experience in crime who are options for Flores. And Gas, of course. (Joking!) https://t.co/qtLX2nJJMA
– Barry Jackson (@flasportsbuzz) January 12, 2021
Watch out when the Dolphins are hired as the new offensive coordinator. Who the Dolphins will hire to replace Chan Gailey could be a bigger move than anyone the team puts together. As fans found out this season after watching 69-year-old Gailey call the shows after years of retirement, even the best players can look bullshit if the caller has fallen behind in the past.
Dolphins have to hire someone who isn’t old enough to be Tuain’s grandfather and knows how to take advantage of him in a crime not invented in the 1940s. Watch who they decide to bring.
Do your part to ensure fans can attend the Dolphin Games next season. There is a good chance that when the Dolphins play their home game next game in September, the stadium will be filled with fans. This will only happen if fans do their part in wearing masks and taking the COVID-19 vaccine.
If everyone does what they have to do to keep this bastard virus under control, the Dolphins game will return to the public next season. If it’s too much to ask to wear a mask and get a vaccine, you should buy a bigger TV, because you won’t see how Dolphins play in person for a long time.
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